Getting Along with Teenagers

Communicating with teenagers can sometimes seem a bit like swimming through thick treacle in the pitch dark in a suit of body armour. However, we need to remember that we have brought this on ourselves, and that we too were once spotty, monosyllabic and confused. We don't guarantee that any of the below will help, but it may give you a strategy for survival!

1. Always make clear to your teenager that you love them, it is their behaviour you object to.
2. When possible, negotiate rather than confront.
3. Avoid backing your children into a corner by offering choices.
4. Always try to stay calm. If you "lose it", it gives your teenager a licence to do the same.
5. Let problem situations cool before discussing them.
6. If you threaten a sanction you must use it, or you won't be taken seriously next time.
7. Have clear, simple rules, boundaries and sanctions which are understood, agreed, and age-appropriate.
8. Try to plan ahead rather than having to introduce rules "on the hoof".
9. After a sanction has been applied and completed, move on.
10. Choose your battles carefully and see them through
11. Remember that what a teenager says is often not what he/she really thinks
12. Really listen to what they are saying, and try to see things from their perspective
13. Teenagers need parents. They already have friends.
14. Be consistent.
15. Don't talk down to teenagers. They have a developing sense of right and wrong, and contrary to popular opinion, will sometimes listen to reason!
16. Even when they are being absolutely foul and hurtful, try to remember it's not personal!
17. If things get really bad, try to maintain some sort of communication. They will eventually grow up!