Conflict Avoidance and Resolution

Stress in the domestic situation is sometimes created simply by events such as financial problems, bereavement, illness etc. However, often the greatest tensions are caused by rifts in inter-personal relationships. Conflicts start whenever someone feels that another person is not behaving as they would like them to, or is obstructing them in achieving what they want to. If these situations are not dealt with, resentments grow, and can easily spiral out of hand. At best, there will be silent antipathy or persistent sniping. At worst, situations can become extremely confrontational or violent. It is therefore very useful as a parent to have strategies in place that help you to recognise and defuse these situations at an early stage.

Ten Top Tips

1. Always remain calm and in control of yourself.
2. Don't shout. If you do, you become a participant rather than a peacemaker.
3. Concentrate initially on "lowering the temperature" so that participants can begin to step back and recognise that what is happening is unproductive.
4. Avoid jumping to conclusions or "taking sides".
5. Only intervene physically as a last resort. Once again, if you do, there is a danger of becoming a participant or a target for deflected anger.
6. Assess your options rather than plunging in immediately.
7. Identify the causes of the conflict by listening even-handedly to the people involved.
8. Involve all parties in finding agreed solutions, and ensure that solutions are regarded as being fair and appropriate
9. Try to resolve situations so that boundaries are established which make the particular situation less likely to arise in future.
10. Be clear, measured and confident in everything you do and say.

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